Black Tuesday

Since you all didn’t listen to me to vote for Republicans, November 7^th will be remembered as ‘Black Tuesday’. However, I have the scoop about the jobs these people out of office, or now ineffective in it, will be doing:

Donald Rumsfeld: Has been given an advance of $1.2 million to write a murdered mystery: “The Fog of Baghdad”

George Allen: Has given up plans to run for President in 2008. Instead, he is being sent by the Wrong Wing Christian Collusion, Inc. to Africa. He will conduct research on monkeys (macacas) to prove that humans did not descend from them.

Michael Steele: will volunteer his work as a Big Brother to inner-city children. He wants to atone being in the wrong party.

Lincoln Chafee: Will join and run for election in the AFL-CIO.

Mark Foley: has announced that he’ll pen a book, which will be about 400 pages. He is not sure how long the book will be.

The Rev. Ted Haggard: has applied to a train as a masseuse at the Community College in San Francisco, CA

Ken Mehlman: plans to buy and manage an olive farm in California.

Dick Cheney: has decided to give up hunting and enter rehab.

John Bolton: Anticipating he’ll not be in the UN much longer, he has been thinking of making use of his mustache to be a lead star in the porn film industry. He has also been contemplating doing ‘Got Milk’ commercials.

Carl Rove: will be assuming the post of a Professor in the Department of American History at the Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, OK

Biggest “What if” of the campaign: If Harold Ford Jr. had said that he is gay, would the Playboy Club ad have had any effect on his lead and could he have won?

Other developments:

In his speech on Wednesday, Mr. Bush said that he is not going to abandon his principal. Carl Rove and Dick Cheney breathed a sigh of relief.

The Justice Department is going through the Constitution to see if it is possible that Bush 41 can take Bush 43^rd’s place for the next two years. The senior Bush may have to have a legal name change where he will drop the “Herbert” from his middle names.

It is said that friends are always supportive, but if an enemy praises you, you have really done something good. Last Wednesday, Mr. Al-Masri, the Chief of Al-Qaeda operations in Iraq, congratulated the American voters for making the right choice. He indicated that he too wants a change in Iraq policy, and help us cut and run.

Germany's top prosecutor will seek a criminal investigation and prosecution of Rumsfeld and others, for their alleged roles in abuses committed at Iraq's Abu Ghraib prison and at Gitmo. He has assured the plaintiffs that judge presiding over the trial will be the same one who tried Saddam.

Speaker-to-be Nancy Pelosi is hiring Martha Stewart as her Chief of Staff to help her clean the House.

Howard Dean has called Bush to borrow the “Mission Accomplished” banner.

Vladimir Putin has announced that he will step down in 2008. A top-secret Republican committee is flying to Moscow to recruit him to run for President of USA that year. They are convinced that he shares their values more than any other 2008 presidential prospects: he is tough on terror, doesn’t care about civil liberties or the Geneva Convention, has dealt with prisons that are worse than Abu Ghraib and Gitmo, believes in an absolute authority of the Executive branch, and always had a vision to turn all of America ‘RED’.